Is It Always Going To Be A Game?

I don’t know what to make of dating. Relationships. Love..

I barely know what it is. This is my first relationship of love. And something this serious. A baby on the way. Living together. But when the fights do come, is it just a game? Of push and pull? Or is it real feelings? I try and try. To be patient and tend to his feelings. Make sure he is happy and knows I love him. I try not to be selfish but it does pop into my mind. What about me? Why don’t I 100% feel that you truly love me as much as I love you?..

Whenever you are upset, which you could hide for days while I can barely contain myself for an hour without losing a grip, you are cold to me. Which I can handle. But then as soon as I become mad with you, you immediately discard your negative feelings and just don’t want me to be mad at you anymore. Then you apologize for whatever it is you think you did.

I know what this is.. It’s me. Rather it WAS me.

I’m dating my past self.. It’s rather poetic and odd. And frustrating…

But no one had enough patience with me. Everyone always left me.

Because of that, it MADE me mature. It MADE me wise up so that I wouldn’t lose someone that I really cared about.  Hopefully, he will learn someday too..

I guess until then, I will be there to support. Unlike the others did not do for me.

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